Dear American Dairy Farmers,
First of all, let me congratulate you on your excellent use of famous people in your ads. It was a gutsy move to utilize celebrities as a tool to sell things. Who would have thought? And I'm sure there were planty of elbows to the ribs in the board rooms for getting 20-something starlets to pose for a photo with frothy white messes on their face. Who's laughing now? Your stock holders, that's who.
Now, on to more serious business. As I'm sure you realise, your former advertising campaign, the 'got milk' ads went rampant on billboards across the country. As bad as that was, the following creshendo of got milk spinoffs were mind numbing as an icy milk brain freeze. From got kayaks to got wood, got trombone, got Jesus...it has been a hard eight years. Such a sustained shitty joke is not the fault of the witless perpetrators of rip-off, but your fault, dear dairy farmers.
Your advertising deprtment has unleashed the most annoying ad known to man. I believe it is therefore your duty to take action to remedy your past mistakes. I propose the following plan.
1. Immediate re-education of those individuals who still believe imitation of the 'got milk' ad is witty. I recoomed immediate production of bolliboard which read: "Got Shitty Jokes? Yes."
2. The production of a new ad campaign. I have donated my valuable time to work up these priceles gems :
-Its from boobs!
-Milk is bad for intolerance and intolerants
-Pasteurization is pretty safe*
-Cheese: a culture even bigots love
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
A Concerned Citizen
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